Relationships and marriages can end for countless reasons, and when they do, you may be unsure about what comes next.
Popular TV dramas and old advice often paint a confusing picture of divorce. That noise creates stress you don’t need when you are trying to move forward.
Come with us as we bust some of the most common myths and misconceptions around divorce.
“You must prove fault to get divorced”
Some people still believe you must point the finger to end your marriage. Until recently, that fear had some truth behind it. The law required you to show adultery, unreasonable behaviour or a long separation before the court would grant a divorce. That changed on the 6th April 2022, when the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020 introduced “no-fault” divorce.
Now you simply state that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. You don’t need to explain or prove why. You can make a sole application or a joint one if you both agree the relationship cannot continue.
This approach lowers tension and allows each of you to start the legal process without blaming the other. Couples who once worried about airing private matters in court now find the system less confrontational and easier to navigate.
“Divorce automatically resolves finances, property and maintenance”
A common misunderstanding arises once the court grants the conditional order and later the final order. You might assume those documents settle everything. In reality, they only end the legal relationship. Money, homes, pensions and ongoing support remain separate issues if they’ve not already been agreed.
If you leave financial matters unresolved, your former spouse could claim in the future. To protect yourself, you usually need a formal agreement approved by the court, such as a consent order or a financial remedy order. These agreements can cover property transfers, lump sums, maintenance and pensions. Working with a reputable divorce solicitor is best here to ensure a legally sound “clean break” between the two of you.
You also should not expect a straight 50/50 split. The court looks at both of your incomes, earning ability, the length of the marriage, contributions to family life and what each person and any children need to live securely. A fair outcome depends on your situation, not a simple formula.
“If we live together without marrying, we have the same rights as a married couple”
Despite the term “common-law spouse” floating around, the law in England and Wales doesn’t actually recognise it. Cohabiting partners do not gain the financial protections married couples have, even after many years together. If you separate, you may have no right to a share of your partner’s pension or any ongoing maintenance.
Property can become especially complicated. Unless your name appears on the deeds or there is a trust or written agreement, you might struggle to claim an interest in the home.
“The mother will always have primary care of the children”
You might hear people say that mothers always “get custody”. That’s not how the law works. When parents separate, the court focuses entirely on what arrangement best supports the child’s welfare, stability and emotional needs.
Judges look at who can meet school routines, medical appointments, and day-to-day care – not whether you are the mother or the father. Shared care is increasingly common because many children benefit from strong relationships with both parents.
If you put their needs first and show willingness to cooperate, you give them the best chance of thriving after the split.
Understanding the truth behind these assumptions can help you make choices that protect your future. Clear information offers confidence at a time when you need it most.
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